Bedowynn Poems

Taking Life For Granted, 2013

Taking life for granted
May be all that we can take
We stand on legs that
Barely brace themselves to break

Small Things Come In Small Packages, 2012

There was nothing but rain all the way home
And so I had boarded a train for respite
All the blood in my brain was unable
To fill out the tired old veins of my mind
In the sky was a plane flying vagrantly
I glowered full of disdain for its height
Putting impossible strain on my patiently
Well deserved link in the chain of your life
You and I shared a brief fame in a small town
In which we had written our names on a post
There was a shadow of shame creeping over us
Ready to snuff out the flames we had stoked
I hadn't prepped for the pain and I faltered
Realizing all of creation had died
Everything God made has long since been altered
So is there anything saved still divine?
Even if I could retain some composure
Would there be someone to blame for my faults?
Or are there still hurdles we could get over?
Do all of us crave a much different result?
If I was sure I'd remain in your graces
I'd go insane for the sake of my craft
There would be no need to fill in the spaces
I'd be there before you could even have asked
Now as I brace for the day my heart races
Ready to break through the cage of my ribs
As my intelligence wanes it replaces
All of the notions I claimed as a kid
It should be more or less framed in the epilogue
There wasn't time to be brave or benign
As we moved close to the grave, we were demigods
Hoping to calm and contain this design
I only want you to stave off the misery
You and I will have our day to be free
As for now, I'll be contained in your history
You'll be the reason I stay
Though my words may betray
It's the best thing that's happened to me

Continuation, 2012

Citing out of deference our our imagination
And our doings in relation to the time
Corroborating evidence shows every indication
My original summation wouldn't fly
In lieu of any relevance we wait in contemplation
Though we fight incineration from inside
Known but I the delicacy of the situation
I'd have sent a proclamation out in kind
Biding our benevolence for alien invasion
We had launched investigations on the side
Hoping our malevolence would fade into frustration
At the thought of having waited for a sign
There was once a point where we had shared infatuation
And a joint but all our patience has declined
Readily annoyed I left without a destination
Until my continuation was maligned
You and I were tricked by love, consumed by consummation
While the weight of our duration was defined
Everybody knows that you had greater expectations
Than I ever could have sated or supplied
Maybe I'll lay low or face my own obliteration
Before my insinuations turn to lies
You should let me know if you have any inclination
To respond in desperation by design
We were made to fall apart, deprived of reparations
All our souls have booked vacations in July
What dwells now inside my heart's a cold manifestation
Of a person you could face with open eyes

Eloquence, 2012

I can be eloquent
I can be elegant
I could even be an elephant
If given the proper relevance

The Four Corners, 2009

Wake anew or split in two
The difference to me
Is barely viewed through deepest blues
That saturate the sea
A sea that I have yet to pry
From nature's honoured grip
I drown instead, oh ocean bed
Accept this pallid ship
Volcanic glass, have I to ask
What mirrors have in store?
An ancient sign of someone's time
Reflected as in lore
A lava path can guide me back
So burn my skin away
This molten rock becomes my flock
And leadeth me astray
A sharpened wind that digs within
Can greet me at the shore
The icy rain beseeched my brain
To pull my collar o'er
The nimbus clouds of wasted hours
Surround me in the streets
Their thunder mocks the way I walk
With nails beneath my feet
The naked Earth my presence cursed
Has cackled out my name
A message clear for other spheres
To shun me from their plains
This mortal soil a Tesla coil
That's sure to take revenge
The void of space a change of pace
From waiting for the end

Time As The Enemy, 2008

Loss of a memory starts as a burden
The thoughts are reworded and fed through despair
Rooms up ahead of me closing their curtains
A fragment uncertain of what it compares
Time as the enemy strikes recognizably
Thinking decisively fails to conceive
Mental hegemony beckons enticingly
Comfort, despising me, asks me to leave
Blank definitions besiege me chaotically
Running hypnotically rampant and brash
Taxing conditions confirming methodically
How I'm not bodily up to the task
Climbing the steps is a life all its own
And I wish that I'd known it would take me this long
Falling instead in a river of bones
And I sink like a stone under everything wrong
Drowning is common to any who've swam
And it's not who I am but whom I have forgot
Down at the bottom there's plenty of land
It's just how much your hand carries back to the top
Time as the enemy kicks from inside
And I've nowhere to hide as to what I forsake
Fractured identity should have just died
But it's now multiplied in uncountable ways
Needless to say that these terms have disrupted
A faith that's corrupted by waiting its turn
Helpless to flay in the fire it's constructed
Our lives have conducted how each of us burns

Winter's Feet, 2007

The will to bend me to a cross
Is nothing to the life I've lost
As bitter as the winter snow
I look at what the cards have shown :
If I've been told what's left to use
The sun should spring a life anew
But waking to these waning walls
I'll sigh and start to crawl across
The tired streets of old fatigue
A bed made out of bark and leaves
Is sore when one has not the strength
To shake its solace from his head
And petrify his own desire
For lest the body catches fire
I fear no morning lift can thaw
The numbness of my broken jaw
And how have I the time to heal
The hinges of this halted wheel
If life is but a cold pursuit
Of frigid words and buried truth?
The wind repeats its razor's edge
A chilling past upon its breath
That's biting down into my back
To send a heart down icy tracks
But frozen here it's plain to see
I'm nothing like I used to be
I looked for where the paths diverged
But found no footprints on the earth
And if I never walked at all
What's left of man beyond the fall?
A tired shadow trudges home
The flesh remains to stoke the soul

Communique, 2007

Tell me have the bombs been dropped
And has it stopped, my friend?
I'm waiting for my ears to pop
Inform me when it ends
And show me where the truth was killed
I heard it on the wind
I'm looking for a way to feel
But heel where I begin
Tell me how to calm the nerves
And what have they to say?
They take the form of frightened birds
And fly the hell away
Guard me as I sleep tonight
No matter what you learn
It's bad enough to curb this life
Than lonely wait your turn

Ghost Of Guilt, 2007

Light and shadow are the key
To open doors instead of me
Conceal a soul who's wrenched with grief
This open window is a thief
The air seduces curtains' lace
The holloway it perforates
And peels away its precious paints
A coat of ash left in the wake
The leaves turn grey, surpass the fall
Inserted passages in walls
Foretell a time when none will call
With medicine to end it all
The antics of a cigarette
Leave gothic gashes on my breath
And darkened as my sad regret
With death a friend I circumvent
In sulphur meadows, clear as night
We watch the vampires come to life
The spiral on the bedpost might
Be strong enough to kill the light
And move to shade your jealous sheen
Malicious rose, maligned machine
I perish in your velvet dream
Where ghosts of guilt are never seen

Beckoning, 2007

It's come to my attention that attention never came
The focus not 'forementioned in ascension from the bane
My conscience scolds the mental folds that force me to decide
It's never told of those who hold such unsuspecting eyes
Though some might say just look away and banish every thought
The night can fray back into day with everything forgot
But sure as rain the language frames a feeling hard to cope
The creeping vines begin to climb the vertebrae of hope
With no idea what they were nor what was left to say,
The remnants of a curvature were left to haunt the day
For how should I know what replies to tenderness and grace
Nor how much I'd identify the folding of her space?
With blackened tone, a crimson chrome resorts to killing time
The writhing it's implying throws me deeper down the mine
The patience of a freed hell is the management of shame
Striations on a seashell echo damage in the brain...
Defiled by an infidel, an outcast of the heart
The sacred dwellings we befell were still a world apart
I thought about it every second that my head was hung
I never learn a single lesson till the harm is done
So what was this that I just missed? Am I to walk alone?
No fingertips nor soothing lips to iron out these bones?
At dual rate, a mule's fate descending on my brow?
Companionship another trip that ends in coming down?
Though, not for me, for she and I had twenty-seven years
And damning loss, we learned to cross the cinderblocks of tears
The frigidness of every kiss would warm when this was done
The cosmos sewn under its own indifferent rising sun
And that's too much to warrant touch from innocence again
It's far too cold out there to crush the only thing I can
Familiar hands reach out to span across this pious ghost
The firmest grips can even slip so keep their presence close

A Worse Mistake Than Usual, 2007

Crack this facsimile, live by the veil
There's a charge in the chimney and I've got the pail
And it's even within me to pry the last spark
From the depth of the kidneys straight up to the heart
But if I've got to pace myself maybe it's time
To revert to a state of health painted aside
When the doubt had took over, the conscience regressed
And I've not got the shoulders to bury this mess
Though I used to be eloquent, humble and wise
How the years could have told me what I would despise
But I kept losing purpose and worse, when the hands
Start to reach for the surface, that's when it expands
Like the cold hush of victory over cadavers
Of hope and of history, former or latter
If they still exist to me, I should just try
To empower a fist to be here by my side
But there's sad and there's sadness, and which one am I?
With my face in the mattress, my back to the sky
Not a creature angelic nor demon in green
Could relinquish this relic of all that he's seen
So just crack this facsimile, live by the veil
There's a charge in the chimney and I've got the pail
What a weak situation, as dry as a bone
And they've closed the last station
There's no way back home

The Sands Of Time, 2006

The question of this sickened love
Is how could all this be?
No worm below nor god above
Will take the bait from me

And now it seems these hopes and dreams
Are clawing from within
My muddled means shall not redeem
The sum of all my sins

This vessel's fate exsanguinates
And bleeds the body dry
The binds of hate released too late
And fire took his eyes

The tendrils snap and lungs collapse
And who have I to blame?
My greatest trap was letting past
The sum of all my shame

I fail to see the decency
Of dying all alone
This life he leads has often needed
Monsters back at home

And right or wrong these scalded palms
Are pushing on his brains
This burnt out bomb reciting psalms
Has blown up in his face

With every step he conjures death
In slightly different shapes
I walk into a blinding blue
And how can I relate?

I leave behind a misspent mind
And all that it reveals
The sands of time begin to grind
Upon their ancient wheel

Sanguine Sea, 2006

Frightened water, running red
Now where have all your rivers fled?
Floating on a rustic breeze
Of skewered limbs and old disease
Fathom feeling if you can
And step into the jaws of man
Held beneath the hardest stones
Your current chills me to the bone

Merovingians, 2006

Make a system from the pages
Of Yaisuah's final home
Take the wisdom of the pagans
And align it with our own
And we bury Mary's cemetery
Chalice overflown
May we query every thought
Contrary to the holy throne

The Scrolls, 2006 (for Pancino)

Due to my Exposure, I was Quarantined to sin
Softer Hands had Petrified the Phantom of the Limb
Seeking Symbiosis with the Anunnaki race
Tunnel Visions force to Bed the Death of March's Face
Jackyl Lanterns light the way to quell the Queen of Bees
Martyr in the First has sung the Chords of Misery
Loki spies the Passerby who Forged The Pharaoh's Name
Great Ungnomes assured me back in Bedowynn's old Bane

The Fatemonger, 2006

With the shadow that's cast on a moon always fright'ning
A man at the windowsill toils with the lightning
Assuming we'll move across fields so inviting
And draw me in deep with a mind still reciting
How we'll all live with the planets colliding
Pages that grew from the trees are in hiding
Their wisdom was seized by a fire that's still rising
When coaxed and coerced by the words that he's writing
The Fatemonger fidgets with all he's forgetting
The lights on his panels are rent and resetting
The maximum threshold his patience is letting
The conscience receive before finally heading
Away from me, screaming out into the night
While I'm left with no answer to keen my demise
And the questions abandoned have clouded my sight
As the last of my certainty severs the light

With a shadow that's cast on a sun always burning
The man at the windowsill trembles with yearning
For constant release from the knowledge he's learning
Which tears him apart, but the tables are turning
And over and over I've questioned the reasons
The cold wind could haunt me from season to season
Shameful to think that I'd stand for this treason
It's nothing compared to the agony he's in
Being as I was still barely alive
I had watched his decay as he wrestled with time
And had fled from the house as he perished inside
From the weight of the guilt that had gutted his mind
Later that day there was little to breathe
And the kettle deceived all the clerics in me
Latching itself onto any disease
And the Fatemonger found me alone in the streets

With the shadow that's cast on an Earth always creaking
I cast off the chains of the dreams I've been seeking
A man at the windowsill rests for the weekend
And closes the door on the nightmare he's wreaking
The Fatemonger listens with cautious precision
He's bound to his bed and the breadth of his visions
I watch his veracity scatter like pigeons
And rain down on Christians who'd burned down the mission
The world is a basilisk, keep it within you
The snapping of sinews will always continue
I walked down the alleys where demons had been you
And drank till they thinned you of everything in you
The light from the watchtower basks in my burden
The man at the windowsill claws at the curtains
The books flee in terror of changing their wording
The floorboards returning their echo uncertain...

Vilesilencer, 2005

Humbled by the solitude of purity and will
I lean into the vehemence and vengeance of the krill
Changing of the sun has led my body to the lake
Wade through the vicissitudes and swallow what we've made
Tainted as the severed limbs that reach to me in vain
Baneful is the voice that screams importance of my name
Hollow is the soul that serves its purpose to the land
Raise a fist to heaven made of half a human's hand
Blood has guarded me but as I step into the night
Foam could never follow the emergence of my plight
Brush has covered mountain and to lords who be abound
Wary now the man who carried hatred as a crown
Revel now the stone which bore the conscience of the king
Covenants are broken with the remnants of the ring
Foul be the game which I refuse to even play
Vile be the consequence of living through the day
Show me what I came here for, return me to the dead
Damaged are the thoughts that flicker thru this ravaged head
Surely there's an answer here, but what have I to show?
Silence is a fortitude and I don't even know...

The Mark Of Gideon, 2005

Gideon! Don't label me a pure and gallant soul
I'm sordid as the serpents wrapped around your rusted poles
Blackened as the tide, I'm causing continents to sway
I wouldn't have it end like this on any other day
But forced around the arms of God and fragile to the touch
This destitution burrows through the defects of the dust
Rampant and reciprocal, the shadow and the flame
Have outlined their atrocities by nurturing the names
Passed off through the ages as significance and grace,
They galvanize the purpose and the power of this place
Watch as my integrity goes spastic at the seams
The dungeons of my darkest depths are filled with dire dreams
Caustic and chaotic and bereft of any choice
They measure the mortality embedded in my voice
I'd turn away but seeing as I stay under the gun
The sweet caress of bitterness is cancer in my lungs
And lo! The ancient memories that shuttle thru my veins
They undermine the permanence of scrutiny and shame
Anchored by the hands enslaved to this immoral clock
That serves my own benign and self-sufficient Ragnarok
The timid trepidation guides me back into the dirt
While threatening the mental thralls created in my birth
Challenging the deprecated mountains that we've built
And countered by the towers of my own colossal guilt
Not like I'd have recognized the solace and the signs
And nor had I the reverence to bring on the divine
Shrouded in the vestments of their godliness and grief
They're sensing my subversiveness and laughing in defeat
Once I'd had the patience to lay waiting in this shell
Ignorant to havoc and the luring haunts of hell
But now I fear this confidence is fleeting from control
O Gideon! Don't mark me as a pure and faithful soul

Scarletters, 2005

Shadows spoke through rings of smoke
That bled into the trees
They once provoked the voice's throat
To maim my childish needs
The scissors cut the doorways shut
I watched my conscience die
Though shaken clean, these eyes had seen
The life they now despise
Scarlet's hopes can barely cope
And weighing on her brain,
The test of man and toppled clans
Are all that still remain
We bind like we were meant to be
The serpents round the pole
Just fighting for a little more
Of who regains control
She came to me from Sanguine Sea
And soon began to reach
The tortured mind I'd left behind
On Broken Bottle Beach
The web she spins has kept me in
For far too many years
The gods have fought to pry her off
My deeply mangled ears
But still at night I wake in spite
Of hearing what she spouts
She spins her lies from deep inside
The attic of my mouth
I'd use a noose to cut her loose
But fear I'd fall as well
I curl inside the walls and slide
Into her velvet hell
She pulls me back to Ragnarok
I quiver at her touch
The feeble brink of one who thinks
His mind may know too much
She reappears as doubt and fear
No matter what I ask
I've seen her die, too many times
She's caught me in her grasp

The Pinhole, 2004

Pluto, I'm pummelling slowly again
While abusing the power, the powder, the pain
The potential is purpose, but pillars of truth?
My perception is punctured; my prophecy, used

Broken Bottle Beach, 2004

Tell me death,
How do you frighten me
So that I've clung
To this ladder so long?
Tell me, what has become
Of my sanity? Certainty?
What have I been
While you poisoned my eyes
With the darkness of dreams?
Tell me, when did the
Pain of my youth run so deep
That I wake up and wish
That I'd died in my sleep?
Tell me, how have I clouded
My head for so long?
At the session's discetion
I turn from the bong
In the waters of limbo
And life, when I face her
My fear becomes liquor
And sorrow the chaser
But ignorance, ignorance
Once through my blood
How you've turned drops
Of misery into a flood
Of religious apocalypse
Down in the lungs
Gods are fighting
The battle of who
I've become

Scarlet's Web, 2003

She's a pentacle betrayal
Like the crosses years before
And now no symbol guards the head post
On my dark and withered door
Where's she's stumbling around me
Like a waste of sex and time
I hear the noises in her head
Call to the voice controlling mine

And she can't bring me to a stop
I'm falling faster than a stone
Falling harder than a paperweight
Upon these brittle bones
As she's standing on the railing
Bitter time had took her head
And now the thunderstorms deliver
Her narcotics to the dead

And God himself has shook a pigeon finger
Pointing out her name
If he knew half of what I know
Then he'd be choking with disdain
And in the language of a demon seed
And under Devil's sun
In Scarlet's web, I push aside the present
This is what's to come:

She'll be setting British fire
On the hills on my command
Taking refuge in the fact that
She's ignored my English hands
She's a suicide in sepia
A preacher to the stones
Sparrows topple in her presence
Casting kings from off their thrones

She'll be stealing bits of decency
From unsuspecting eyes
God and I are taking bets of who
She'll mostly terrorize
She's an anvil on the shoulders
And a pepper in the mouth
She's put fears in me so deep
I'd use a spear to force them out

She's a Christian superstition
Waking giants from their sleep
None can hear the howls emitted
By her sacrificial sheep
She's a hundred clicks an hour
On a bullet train to hell
There's a kennel in the closet
Where she casts her stupid spells

She's a succubus in satin
Lilith's message surely read
How I hope she wakes up struggling
In the centre of her web
She's an angel with her wings sawn off
And sewn onto her chest
She's been leaving pagan names
Carved straight into this wounded mess

And I fear that she's infected me
With lust and lack of means
How I hope she turns up fainting
In the fates' sporadic dreams
And she's calling down a fire
Only androids live to tell...
There's no Son of Man nor Head of Bran
That hopes to save us now

The Special K Prophecy, 2002

At witching six on Devil's Night
And twenty from October's past
Light and four to Chester Drive
Where floor and crystal cross my path
A mouse can hide in Al Ain's moon
While tapestry is spun from pine
In opiated garbage rooms
Your future coincides with mine
I stole this from Ezekiel
While tears fell down the angel's face
A child saw this on the wall
Now thoughts can overtake this place...
Double double, clothed by rubble
Clover turns a chronic eye
In twenty years a giant's trouble
Indicates when mountains die
Quivers bathe in my regret
That rave about the great deluge
The only difference now is that
I've shelter and a soul to lose
Thankfully a thought deceives me
Carbon quickly turns to stone
And nymphs though they did not believe me
Watched me as I stirred these bones
John had known what I beheld
And buried there in Babylon
Were tremblings your machines had quelled
Now listen to a burnout's song...

Oh Buddha! have your arrows stood
In valleys full of marsh and rock?
The scribes in Ancient China's
Holy walls can hear your voices talk
And hollow hills have closed their eyes
On equal dust that dissipates
Corrupted in the pointed night
And hidden under Hades' gates
Ghola brethren walk the water
God is waiting back to wall
Pray to our reluctant father
Sorry you had lived at all
Rooster tell your younger brother
Some roads just don't lead to Rome
And though at first he chose another
Stonehenge claims him as its own
Jesus rides on elephants
And skeletons bow down to pray
Birds are swarming instruments
That power down in darker days
Faces fall apart in focus
Gods are based on lutes and keys
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But words will nay a scratch hurt me...

Oh Abraham! I only hope
That when the reaper kissed your eyes
That you knew then what I was told
The sheepskin fails to speak your mind
Squarer trees will guard your tomb
When pentagrams have bled to death
For I will always live in doom
Just wishing I had never left
But these days something speaks to me
That questions everything I had
A far off ghost lives peacefully
Though elvish sackcloth lies in rags
Time had torn apart our branches
Sacrificed by outer space
But when this body earth does answer
Teeth form on a Druid's face

Oh Isis! Have you met your death?
Your saviour waters down the pain
Always fell on winter's breath
Never cross my path again
And resurrect the Ten Commandments
Children of the shift have filed
Ra resumes my hand and knits
A killing name; a hybrid child
Razor sees his acorn fade
With warmth inside his folded arms
And Joshua carves oak tree graves
The world now speaks not any harm...

Oh Rodent! Drag yourself to safety
Sheep blood smeared across the door
Pilgrims need your pagans lately
Shai-Hulud will live once more...

Carved into the maple trees
By Celtic dragon, Wicca sun:
Fucked up as I'll always be
And terrified of what's to come...
Sorrow lends my soul a blanket
Battled through the harsher years
The shadows of the falling rain
Confirm a giant's kinder tears...

Some Poem That Uses Why The Hell A Lot, 2002

Why the hell have you forsaken me?
Depleted sense of trust
You walk away from broken chariots
That crash inside of us

Why the hell have you destroyed me?
It's a spearing thru the heart
I've seen the warning in the Tarot:
Never let the bodies part

Why the hell have you betrayed me
While they're screaming in the streets
That you're the master of deception
With the mountains at your feet?

Why the hell have you revived me?
I've been drowning in these dreams
Since you defied me in your arrogance
To fuel a faded need

Why the hell have you forgotten me?
I held you thru the bomb
That fell from skies cast over yesterday
It hasn't been that long

Why the hell have you survived me
As I stole your simple thread
To sew the darkness as a veil
I drape upon your sickened head?

Why the hell have you dismissed me
As a sad and distant soul?
Who needs your perfect little halo
Flying round my totem pole?

Why the hell have you just left me
Weak and hanging from your tree?
I hope the day they cut you down
You feel the pain you pushed on me

Ever The Joyous Moment, 2000

We used to go handfasting deep in the forest
I'd stay there for hours, awaiting return
Building salvations and watching them crumble
Creating religions and watching them burn
I used to go spellcasting, lonely, exhausted
And often hungover, but God didn't care
He never responded or came to my rescue
But anyway, sometimes he answered my prayers
I used to burn incense in dark lonely places
Waiting for spirits to rip through the night
I used to smoke weed on the swingset at sunrise
I used to have feelings, I used to have life
I once had the patience of dormant volcanoes
I once had the anger of dragonfly dreams
I once had the courage of Lucifer's angels
Control of the Beast and the powers that be
I now have the will of a broken machine gun
Feeding suspicions I've felt from the start
I now have the joy of a lonely man dying
Everything living is falling apart

Tried, 1997

I only cry when scared
And if I could change the world somehow
I know they wouldn't care

A Battle For Teardrops, 1997

The morning sun exposed its face
And turned to fighters slowly crept
With sleepy eyes just filled with fear
And into anger purged by years
Of living near the evil tree

One man shouted for the moon
Whose tired arms had left his room
To better places stained with death
Far away from things now left
Behind just maybe in the womb

The Devil's soldiers flashed their teeth
The blood ran down to swords unsheathed
For fervent Christians armed with smiles
Who fell from hills just up a while
With will to kill the Devil's beasts

A thousand painters were employed
And painted Earth a crimson red
A dash of sword and shield and knife
A memory of this blood night
The night the Devil met his death

For in a dream was this beheld
The knights of heaven, spawn of hell
The ghosts of living hate and love
With love below and hate above
Now each with weaponry obsessed

And when the mushroom cloud arose
To show the world the battle's face
I must have turned beyond the sun
With purest hate for everyone
The battle for the teardrops shed

And all the world cried in vain
In pure damnation and disgrace
As God let out a fiery roar
And Satan dead forevermore
I vanished from existence's face

Sweet Tonight, 1997

Tonight she said she'd be okay
She'd be alive and do her drugs
Today she said she'd lose her love
I'm hoping that she falls from grace

She knows she's just a little shy
Tonight she's gone to have some fun
She's got a hash pipe and a gun
She'll take a life, I hope it's mine

Today she said she'd kill the moon
She doesn't like the light it gives
She holds me close till I can't live
Tonight she said she'd leave her room

Smoke, 1997

Shelter yes
I find in you
A sighing stick
Potential smoke
Within you
Everything is true
Without you
Everything is broke

Dissonance, 1996

Summer comes for everyone
The winter is its only son
Among the winter, pay the fees
The summer never comes for me
With all these hate crimes in my head
My love is hatred, love is dead
You may just lose your innocence
So welcome man to dissonance


Albino Incident Lyrics
co-written by Owen Ferneyhough

Sometimes My Arms Bend Back, 2012

Cold men took you to the darkest place
Carved a smile upon your screaming face
Was it your father led them there?
Or was it a form of suicide that you decided you had to bear?

Whispering pines, maybe the light doesn't shine
So would you walk through the fire with me?
I know the mountains are steep but the woods even deeper
Nobody knows when they die
I promise you I'll find a reason why

Owls keep their vigil, martian eyes
Old men turn to giants, silent cries
Does he still feast upon your fears?
Can we meet up in the Black Lodge, babe,
As soon as I've aged 25 years?

While my body slumbers
Everybody hungers
For their own piece of the pie
There'll be no traces
But these missing pages
That I'll leave leave behind
And I hope you'll find them
And in my new shoes
I walked to the other side

(Into the) Whispering pines, maybe the light doesn't shine
So would you walk through the fire with me?
I know the mountains are steep but the woods even deeper
Nobody knows when they die
Just close your eyes, maybe we'll find out tonight
Are you the fire that walks with me?
You promised me you'd find a reason why

Tears For Medea, 2012

Where have you gone?
Is it something I did wrong?
Or have you pondered
A culmination of all your aspirations up to here?
A superstition has kept you from your vision
And you wandered off
I've one condition, you make your own decisions
I won't be party to this, despite my dreams and my fear

Sorry to ask but the pavement still cracks
When walking in your shoes
So prolong exposure, if that gives us closure
Let me get over it, tell me what else I can do
It's time I faced the truth

Despite my dreams and my fears
Nobody's seen her in years

I've framed her letters and I've taped her calls
She's no idea how I feel at all
Anything's better than to stay here managing
Tears for Medea, nobody's seen her in years

With every rumour, I set out to pursue you
But I lost you way back there
Sever emotions, they broke all your potions open
I stumbled blindly
And when the smoke had finally cleared...
I knew you wouldn't be there

Anything's better than to stay here meting out
Tears for Medea, nobody's seen her in years

But it's hard to cope
Any time I think I'm close
Something deep inside takes hold
Of everything I've ever known

And set alight, I've searched for something like you
All my life, but I could never find you

I've burned your letters and erased your calls
If I upset her I should take the fall
Anything's better than to stay here drowning in
Tears for Medea, nobody's seen her in years

Esquillax pt III : Adamant Eve, 2012

We've wasted time but I would live it over
So long as you're right here by my side

The waters heave, the heavens fall
But still we hold to the belief
That we could rise above it all in time
All in our own time

Though it's taken most our lives
But even in our blackest nights
I know that we'll be good from here on in
All the past and all the pain
Is all at last a world away
This brand new beginning of our lives

So far I've tried to be
Deserving of your patience and your pride
Someone like you are in my eyes

I hope you see the picture's far from framed
But even in the underlay
I knew that we'd be good from here on out
All the pastels, all the paints
Have all been drafted to create
This untainted image
And from the beginning I knew that it was right
So long as you're right here by side

Alan Smithee, 2012

So blind
You cower until calmer weather
For the first time
You start to feel the cabin pressure

Then someone blows it all to shit
That we're just left to wallow in
We come to you with open arms
But we ain't sparing anyone

Come down
And watch it all implode before me
As we lose ground
And start to feel a little lonely

We'll carry on and keep the flame
And give ourselves a better name

Now we're all petrified
But I still want to see how it ends
If it's too late to change our minds

Hold on
Till they tell us just how much they hate it
Can't be so wrong
Or they never would have let us make it
As the film and the faithful decay
We start to feel maybe we
Shouldn't have come here today

Now we're all petrified
But I still want to see how it ends
If it's too late to change our minds anyway
Come along for the ride
It's a shame how they changed every scene that we love
Then they let it all die

It's A Good Day To Fly A Kite, 2011 (for James Garlick)

Carving your name in my table
How the years have blurred
Sorry if I seem unable
To find the words
Down the stairs we all took chairs
As if they bore our names
While he was gone
We'd save a seat for James

Carry the past of our brother in our hands...
Cherish the acts of another's circumstance...
With all of this weight on our shouldered today

In troubled times
When we were down
You came along
We looked to you to spin and now
Where have you gone?

A primitive element lingers in your place...
A shot of you giving the finger in a frame...

Thicker than thieves
We stayed up all night
It's a good day to fly a kite
And nothing could bring us down
When we were that high
Now there are grey clouds in our skies...
And it's killing me

Pouring over memories
I know it's not the same
I wish we'd just had more time
At least our time was great

Up the stairs we all take chairs
And gather in your name
He's not gone as long as
We save a seat for James

Thicker than thieves
We stayed up all night
It's a good day to fly a kite

Goodbye Galaxy, 2012

The smile on my face isn't concealing
How we've betrayed our hearts
Vacuous veins, void of all feeling
Never revealing who we are
But it's already late, I should be leaving
You know how I hate to part
But there's too much at stake
And it outweighs this gravity
Don't let me float in the dark

Goodbye galaxy cos I need my space
And I'm tired of reality getting in the way
Goodbye universe, I'll find my place
Though it's hard to trace back to your apogee

Every satellite's slipping away
Bored of their orbit in the skies
Here on the floor
They're getting hard to recognize
If I could afford it, I'd build a rocket to the stars
Maybe we'd be marooned on Mars
Keenly rewarded

But as for now I'm seeing shadows
Where the sun's never been
Replaying battles I had already
Won as a kid and had time for your games
But we can't just restart from the last point we played

So goodbye sweet galaxy, cos I need my space
And I'm tired of reality getting in the way
Goodbye cruel universe, I'll find my place
Though it's hard to trace you back to your apogee
So goodbye galaxy

Bishops' Mandibles, 2011

As if I'm following a dream
Should I be running back inside?
I'd always wallowed in the in-between
Afraid to step into your light
It's even smaller than it seems
The length of anybody's life
Your words are hollow and they've always been
I couldn't bear if we'd collide

This dimming sky suggests somehow
It won't be clear
That's fine but I don't get it
Why'd I let it compromise me?
Deaf ears don't fall upon this sound
Now do they, dear?
I know not why I'd said it
Why I let it near

With mandibles maimed
I'd pick up my jaw and walk away
Nobody to beg
No bishops to blame
With mandibles maimed

And now you're calling it a curse
No matter who we'd been before
Had our intentions surfaced so perverse
I'd be the first one out the door
Can we deter it if it hurts
Albeit able to expect
Kinetic comfort we could keen or worse
A halo holding up the neck?

With mandibles marred
I'm closing my mouth left so ajar
But nothing so far
Nobody to blame
With mandibles maimed

Held my heart in hand
And mapped the land and wandered
Out into a blinding blue beyond
Burned the sheets and washed her feet
Of everything we'd ever been

With mandibles maimed, I'm walking away
I'd pick up my jaw, there's nothing to say
Nobody to beg or bishops to blame
With mandibles maimed
With mandibles marred
I'm closing my mouth left so ajar
But nothing so far
I'm walking away
Nobody to beg, no bishops to blame
With mandibles maimed

Here There Be Monsters, 2010

Fate, are we changing too late?
Can't we pick up the dying pace this time?
And sing with our brothers but don't tell the others
Will we cry when the echo subsides
And the shepherd closes his eyes?
This light will hatch us a prophet
Or break through the coffin tonight

Don't tell me what I can't do
I've been jumping through time for you
Black cloud stuck in a dead lock state
All initiative falling away
So you're falling away

Could I crash here again?
Drained of my words and even the birds
Have started to scream your name
Even miles away

Gone, what remains of the swan?
All our numbers have now been drawn so long
But no one's an island
There's magnets inside everyone

Though I'll constantly ask you
Be my anchor in space
Like the feet of a statue
I can't seem to move from this place

There were whispers around you
Plain to see it's not real
So I'm turning the wheel
Cos it's all been about you
I'd be lost without you

Not Yet Or Yet, 2010 (for Bryan Ferneyhough I)

Dawn tread on the room, lording her victory, a sun defeated moon
And we heard funeral songs ring on in the distance
The instant I scream to stay alive
I pour out my history upon the night he died
The waters spelling out his name when the rains came in

Had we had the chance to bid farewell
Find what lies beneath the skin
Could we ever really know ourselves
Deeper within?

Every shattered reminder of what I was
Is a shadow that tears at the light above
Should it bother me, lock me in my dreams forever
Sleep whatever kingdom come

And as darkness cracks the light, riding its ignorance
The demons of the night
From clouds of human will, they'll kill us all with rocks

There was an airplane in the sky
I tried to call it down but it just passed me by
Now there's a comet on its way
I tried to stall it but there's nothing I can say

I've walked forsaken roads before
Denying all history, I'll walk a little more
Now listen closely why we bleed
When the sheep feed

Esquillax pt II : Molasses In Winter, 2010

It was all that you wanted, a faith so easy to swallow
You never noticed the content, or read the words that you followed,
The dogma you borrowed
It's time to wake now and see what you've done
Now look what you've become

After all that you've paid for they still know how to control you
Is this what you prayed for? Do you think they adore you?
No one came before you?
You'll have to break now and step to the edge
Now jump off of the ledge

But it's a hell of a fall and I just don't think that you can take it at all
So I'll hold my ground if ever you should wake up
And open your eyes when you've been dead long enough

You say you wanted a saviour, someone to soften the splinters
But I'd be willing to wager that he's too slow for the sinners
Molasses in winter
Why don't you jump now and pray to your gods?
Are they listening at all?

But it's a hell of a fall, you're crying out but will they answer the call?
I'll hold my ground in case you come through alive
But you just might have to save your own soul this time

If ever you should wake up, in case you come through alive
Look to the height you fell from and you'll be right by my side

Now it's time to awaken, let fall the weight of devotion
And walk with the forsaken, you'll laugh at childish notions
The image in focus
Don't ever look to the height you fell from
Cos coming down

It was a hell of a fall, but you made it through and now you know who you are
I'll hold my ground and you'll be right by my side
It may not last but at least we know we're alive

Esquillax pt I : Tools Of The Trade, 2010

All that I had, I left to wayside, put on display for a world gone mad
The tools of the trade, I walk in the daylight, crawling the cracks
Weaving the shadows for wear, I felt a chill in the air
Saw you fading, saw you defined
With every breath I could bear, I prayed to God you'd be right there by my side

Tell me there's something between us, decency
Decency feels different on my own
This is to any who'd seen us, recently
Recently, no one needs to know

Freeing fear, I've kept to this to see what's left inside
Being here can make me wish I'd never said goodbye
It's not like I didn't try

Picking up all that we can, something I don't understand :
How we're so open yet so dense,
Thought I a prominent man until a dominant hand
Came down with fingers so damn clenched
I never thought that I'd heal, I worked my way to the wheel
Barely coping, barely alive
With every breath I could steal, I prayed to God I could feel you by my side

It's not like I didn't try to hold on, not that I couldn't bide my time
Freeing fear I've kept you clear to see what's left inside

Tell me there's something between us, decency
Decency is recently a hammer or a wrench
And that's how a human vents

Post-Mortem Depression, 2009

Well I've had thirteen days to think it over and nothing much has changed
Maybe sometimes next October, when it starts to rain
We'll patch the holes we shot into the roof when we got started
Or gather here to join our dearly departed

So you burn off your fingerprints and I'll bleach out the evidence
Cos nothing seems worth saving anyway
But nothing gets the bloodstains out, I wish that we had thought about
I wish that we had something more to say

Like severed friends we mend, like broken limbs we bend
Like stupid children come to waken in the face of what we've done
By our bodies, we're forsaken, by our blood…

Don't you find it disconcerting when the sutures come undone?
If there are lessons not worth learning then I'll sit through every one
If the subject matter's sensitive, let's force it to the surface
It's a sad goodbye but no free rides and no rest for the worthless

Hitting the ground won't be so hard
Somehow I'll make it even if you don't want me to
I'm just hoping the fall won't be so far
I'm not sure I can take it, but there's not a lot I can do

Like severed friends we mend, like broken limbs we bend
Like stupid children come to face up in the wake of what we've done
By our bodies, we're forsaken, by our blood…

Cereal Box, 2009

She broke out on the scene with all the subtlety of a machine gun at close range
When she said I'll never make it through, just can't relate to you
So is this what you came for?

And there's a light on outside that I can't bear to describe
And there's a light on outside and it's still in my eyes when it's gone

When I shattered, when my head still drew off the pieces she had smashed into
Just to turn out as a feeling left out in the cold, where demons overflow
Dragged down and down for you

She leans into the wind and braces herself for the fall that will bury us all
Digs her heels firm in the dirt
Empowers mountains to rise with a flick of her eyes

A lack of blood and its discretion, a lack of any real progression
Take the knowledge, drive the doubt in, maybe we could cry about it
Maybe I'll regret my feelings, from a skull of senses reeling
I could build a life behind it, nothing ever stops reminding
I'm nothing more than dreams and visions
I've wounded words with deep incisions
All I needed, all I wanted, broken, killed and left despondent
Call the worm or close the curtains, show me why she's so uncertain
All in all I knew the time'll let me ride this fucking spiral down

Fate ignores her, even life abhors her, no
Let me ride this fucking spiral down

Lament For A Cruel Year (2007), 2007 (for Pancino)

Saw my friends today, never found our way further down that path
One awash with tears, past this cruel year, how I'd want it back

(Back beside me)
You'd see me fade from your eyes as a curious crisis
Don't let me decide
I've seen through all your disguises,
Let all your devices diminish in size

What could we do? Don't let me decide
If only I'd tried to make it through a little more time

Help me understand, with no masterplan, we've no guarantees
Wooden words betrayed, turn my throat away, I still can't believe

The Horses' Mouth, 2007

Pluck my stars from their fated sky, find the source of the lies
Old enough to die years before, sheep blood set into every door of the
Chosen people, good and evil were taken from my name
Changing vastly, now they're asking me to be perfect again

Pull my face from its golden dome, I've no place for a throne
God I wish I'd known Turin's shroud may convince me every cloud bears a
Holy vision, any Christian would hunger for a glimpse
Tired saviours, ghosts and makers we've filtered though our lips

Bring on the divine or turn this water into wine
Show me how I can justify
What we've straightened out from the Horses' mouth
Show me how I can live without the lie

Tear a page from this aging text, we're in up to our necks
Maybe check for a mark of Cain; I'm not flanked by bedpost frames of the
Winged attendants, my descendants won't walk among the damned,
Know misfortune, count the horsemen, or greet the Great I Am

Bring on the divine or turn this water into wine
Show me how I can rectify
What we've straightened out from the Horses' mouth
Show me how I can live without the lie
Or just bring on the divine

Bedowynn's Bane, 2004 (also played and recorded by Pancino)

I saw you dividing the night, speaking in phrases no human would write
Deep in the forest with none but the species of Horus to view
Form a new image of you in the dark
Mark on my side, the Vredic race rises to battle
The twelfth planet shadow I hide
Targeting Scarlet with most of my blame
The draining of youth is the truth that remains

Heart in the core of the sun cos it's cold in this Bedowynn's bane
The enemy's down in the lungs

I shouldn't have opened the door
I was thinking of where I had failed here before
Questioning logic and reason, I'd change like the seasons
I'm winter and hold no hope of spring eternal and
Warped like a loom, I've been labelled as dark and the sky
And as cold as this derelict moon
Clutching the gas mask too close to my face
Hoping time won't be as cruel as space

And the dreams that I'd followed were never as real as the chase
Led by the hunted, I kept to the edges my fear and discomfort maintain
Heart in the core of the sun cos it's cold in this Bedowynn's bane
Down in the lungs, they keep fighting the battle for who I've become

These are words that I've swallowed in spite of my health
Faith that I've followed in spite of myself, how could it drag me away?
From the foot of the tower I'd toppled in spite of my dreams
Power I'd lost in the plight of machines awaiting the ending of days

Planets collide, the tectonic plates slide
Between thunder, Earth isn't dead yet but they've stunned her
The comets get careless, the dinosaurs perish
Like alien spaceships that fly while they're wasted and
Now they translate Cydonian landscape
As proof of intelligence, how are they selling this
New world order, defining the borders
Of heaven and hell at the risk of mortality's reign?

I'll decide that the bong remains the blame, show you the door
And you'll crawl your way through and I'll feel something more than this
Misery lining my blood, turn this soliloquy into a flood
So religiously shadowed that down in the lungs
They keep fighting the battle for who I've become in this bane
In this Bedowynn's bane...

Dawn Treader, 2002

Hear you cut your classes open like the wrists of masses
Every single day you're wasted, keeps on draining all my patience
And when you lie beside me, Jesus when these wrists defy me
Jesus when these dreams awaken, hold them long enough to break them

(But if I can't break them)
I'll end it myself over nothing to say and
There's a wound on my arm and it's talking today
(I'll never face them even)
Now I lay me down to sleep, pray the Lord my crop to reap
And bury all my bones so deep that death won't even find me

Hear you jack up sadness, you illuminate in blackness
Drain all of the fluids from me, promise that you won't become me
And when you die beside me, Christ when all these wrists define me
Christ when all these dreams awaken, hold them long enough to break them

I've been living on a comedown and my vision's getting fed
Hitting off this cold machine that sleeps beside my bed
I know you're still inside my head no matter where I am
Trying to get a glimpse of what you'll never understand
You see, I knew that there'd be hell to pay, I cry and cry the night away
And all the places I once stayed have crumbled right before me
I shun the world and all its bliss, I never thought I'd come to this
I close the gates, invoke the fates and hope that life will just ignore me

Life will just ignore me
Death will never find me


Pancino Lyrics
co-written by Cavan Horvath

Snuff Box, 2006

A lack of blood and fallen fingers
A lack of air will kill what lingers
Tear the head off, push the heart in
Deep enough that most regard it
As a product of my choices
From a bed of battered voices
I will crawl inside what died here
All my hate and hope collide here
I'm nothing more than filth and thimbles
Resounding gongs and clanging cymbals
All I've done and all I've tainted
Jagged, bend and truly jaded
Call the worm and ride to safety
Life is getting dark here lately
All in all, I've chose my rivals
Let me ride this fucking spiral down

Faith ignores that no one here adores me
No...

When I shattered, when my head still grew
On diseases you could drag me through
Just to burn out in my fields, your drug's still
In my soul, my demons overflow
I'm dragged down and dead for you...

The Woods, 2006

Soil starts its cultivation
Forest draws us in its canopy
Prepared against incineration
Keep us from a state of entropy

So burn as they do
The flames all around you
Dance in the dead of night
Infesting the seeds
So nothing will breed
And nothing will come to life

The trees rip us their roots like teeth and
Soon I will be just fallen leaves
Tearing at the earth beneath them
Filling the gulch with human beings

First fallen snow
A land that we all own
But how did we lose our ground?
Where did we go?
Fresh fallen angels
Praying to not be found

In the woods...
It's not my past I'm trying to hide
I don't know how I'm still inside, wandering
In the woods...
The trees awake and go to war
The stones won't tell me what's in store
In the woods...

Contrition walks in the morning mist
With bitter mistakes the Fay resolve
I hear them crack their arbor wrists
But when the bough breaks, it's me who falls

So burn as they do, flames all around you
Dance with the dead at night
Infesting the seeds, so nothing will breed
And nothing will come to life

Liquid Sleep, 2006

Where have all your river flown my keeper?
Your current chills me to the bone and deeper
The sulphur billowed and blackened the breeze
I don't remember what happened to me
Maybe a shipwreck or sharks off the bow
Eight tentacles of a sentient cloud

Falling into liquid sleep narcosis
Part the tidal waves like i was Moses
A coffin birth and a life in the reeds
Raised by mermaids and hidden beneath
The sweet seduction of poison and drugs
I've no intention of pulling the plug

Not like I'll wash it away
I'll keep dreaming till it drowns my psyche in a deep sedation
Not like I'll wash it away
I'll keep drowning till my dreams soak through me and I can't awaken

I took to revel in a gross projection
Of an old obsession so dear
My body trembles at its own reflection
And I've no protection in here

Fathom feeling if you know, just slowly
Step into the undertow below me
Now reach your hand out and cover the sky
Don't hold your breath or it passes you by
Beneath the water the creatures appear
In greater numbers than ever I've feared

I've no intention of rising for air

Not like I'll wash it away
I led the devil through his first rejection
Of the worst profession in years
Not like I'll wash it away
I've been assembled by my own perception
Of my own conceptual fears

It's all becoming clear...

I'll keep dreaming till it drowns my psyche in a deep sedation
I'll keep drowning till my dreams soak through me and I can't awaken

First Degree Martyr, 2006

Why should I care about this world
When our salvation is a sea of silence?
Why should I suffer life unfurled
There's no replacing this decree of violence?

Bare your teeth like vampires
Chase the landmines from your head
Carapace of crimson red
All my dreams are gone and dead

Call me co-defined
No one else is mine
Mine alone to see
Drink of my disdain
Nothing else remains
No effect on me

Apathy starts when I pry the nails from my tree
Blades in my heart as I lay there hung from my feet

Crying for covens and kings, they've wasted everything
And now the weight of their rings isn't worth the water
If I should stand in their place without the chains of my faith
I'd slowly run out of ways to remain your martyr

No enlightenment
Nothing's stopped us yet
It's the first degree
No more secret cults
Not one vacant vault
No more life released

Safe in my bed as I watched with blood on my brow
Thorns in my head, only death could stop the pain now

Softhand, 2005

Saw it all come down
The sunspots and moon shards
Are all I found

Two eyes that cannot see
The deserts laid before them
Nomadic fallacies
A skin of unimportance
Hurt from the inside out
Feet dragged across the wasteland
I scream without a doubt
That I will leave this place and

Perish the past of my brother from my hands
Carry the acts of another's circumstance
With all of this weight on our shoulders today
The morrow may not be as hopeful to take me away

Won't you ever lose
The small tubes you breathe through In little rooms

Bury the tasks of my mother by my side
Cherish the last of my lover's foolish pride

Move against the flow
The boundaries and limits
The body goes

The borders residing
Will leave us divided
The planets colliding between us...

Death Of March, 2005

Element 115 punctures the veins
Banquish a piece of me, time had erased

My sight... my soul...
Let all my wounds run cold

Reasons that I regret, punish the earth
Devour my cigarette in an alien curse
Back then I was partial to you and me
Taking solace in ending it all
Our liaisons are laced with impurity
Even after the fall

My sight... my soul...
Let all my wound run cold

Breathe out your icicles now that my will is burned
You take off like U.F.O.s never to once return
I'll rebuild your body in pieces that I had saved
We'll meet over coffee like heathens on judgement day...

Havoc and toil encompass a human heart
The darkest of hours shall fall in the death of March

Let all my wounds run cold...

Fusions of fear have bred children of death
Contusions upon the head, vengeance against

My sight... my soul...

Queen Bee, 2004

I've made your halo
A swarm of bees
Befelled by fables
Drowned in the dreams

I baptised her in acid rain
She's stung me deep inside the brain

And she rewarded me the
Vehemence of this cocoon
Long before the drones had sucked
The nectar from her life
Waste away the morning
And I'll build Rome in the afternoon
Sever my domain and leave me
Open to the hive

I put her sins upon myself
But now she's nothing left to tell

And nothing to remember
Discontent is an eternal december
And a violation of the species
The hollow void of your beliefs

I've made your halo
A swarm of bees
Befelled by fables
Drowned in the dreams

But still the victims of her womb
Carry this message to the queen
She led me back inside her gloom
For they've infected her esteem
They integrate my body to her
(I saw it coming)
Denied of everything i ask
(Helpless in her wings)
They've already mapped out the future
(but keep on running)
And now they've come to take the past
(With one breath...)

They lead us through deception
They microchip the breeze
They writhe in false intentions
I harvest the disease of
Crimson honey
Tainted fountains
Hell above me
But from the mountains...

...I stop the sea
Remove my conscience
From this machine
I've paved your exit
(I've crawled beneath)
I've made your halo
A swarm of bees
Befelled by fables
Drowned in the dreams

Symbiosis, 2004

If I fall forward
She'll maim my best intentions
Let's sabotage her engines
All power is belated
This crucifix is jaded
She bathes in her destruction
The eve of my abduction
And walks in hell without me
I've fallen to my knees...

She'll find a slit and rip it open
Touch a drop and leave it frozen
I stumble down the path she's chosen
All my fixations are broken

Condescending needs
Buried deep in all her subtleties

Patience
Her lust has left me vacant
She reappears in scarlet
Conceived within my darkness
The semblance of Isis
My own Atlantis rises
With the thirteen bells of Bali
Resounding through the seas
To me...

Hex a home for it's forsaken
Prick her heart just as it's breaking
Tear her down with words of wisdom
Leave me to my cataclysm

She's staring at the scenes...
She's tearing at the seams...

The firmaments of virtue
Have not always kept this psyche
From the storm of what's referred to
As the whirlwinds that drive me
To her touch...

Condescending needs
Buried deep in all her subtleties
Condescending needs
Buried deep in all her subtleties
Buried deep in all these troubled themes...

Anunnaki, 2004

Nothing's real that can't behold
If silence is the way to go
The blackened wings reach out to me and fade

I've waited thirty-six hundred years
Tainted by the Tiamat
Coiled around my deepest fears
Trying to pull the heavens back
I scour on the face of Mars
And spit the tales of Gilgamesh
Fallen from the furthest stars
Resurrected through the flesh

Withhold the winged globes in the sky
Dragons rise from the abyss
Oh and the changing of the tide
Solely with the...

Anunnaki's burning light
The serpent holds me close at night
It pushes meaning back into the names
The memories of seraphim
Still tear within my tattered skin
The blackened wings reach out to me and fade

Pillars of benevolence
Enki lies alone and waits
The shackles of intelligence
Are drained into my D.N.A.
Hauntingly the Shems descend
Raining down upon the plains
Rumours of the promised land
Draw these bodies from the grave

So stoop not down therefore
Unto this burden
And I'll keep the truth
Behind a granite curtain
Caught under the weight of Anu's hammer
And I'd best be wary of these
Close encounters with the dead...

Oh and the changing of the tides
Dragons rise from the abyss
Withhold the winged globes in the sky
Surely it's a...

Self perpetuated doom
The end of man is coming soon
And not a god in heaven can relate
It's not as if they'd granted me
The Tablet of Destinies
The blackened wings reach out to me and fade

Tunnel Visions, 2004

Dirt and ash that coat the sky shroud what you neglect
Crawl down from your cloud with all the planets round your neck
A plague infested ocean couldn't wash away the rage
Fear has crippled my emotions in the few and final days

I should have fled into the tunnels
Never turned a darkened eye
To what was happening around us
As I watched the world die...

But you were drifting in the Duat as i carved my mark on walls
Down in here with nothing near i watched you take the fall
From a light polluted sky stacking buildings through the trees
Fear has nestled in my eyes and in the chambers underneath

I've seen your satellites come crashing down
No moon to guide the night on barren ground
Your eyes are burning as the sun explodes
Watching traffic flow from below...

Visions have reduced me and I'm speaking out of dreams
Crawl down from your throne and end what justifies your means
You were drowning in the magma till I dragged you to the caves
I fear with Nebiru above us not a soul on earth be saved

I never though about the consequence
I turned a darkened mind
To what was happening around us
As I watched the world die...

I should have buried you in Babylon
Betrayed you to your fate
I hadn't thought you'd leave your vagabonds
To harbour in my brain
So I shunned you to the surface
Metal scraps upon the grain
And we can watch the fires of flying planes
That never will sustain

My spirit dies... ash that coats the sky
Has abandoned me to Hades as I watched the planet sigh
Fertile field and soil and stone
Hill and dale, deep cave, old bone
Save me from this fear below that's crawled into my eyes

I've seen your seven moons come crashing down
No god to shine the light on barren ground
Your minds are churning as the sun implodes
Watching rapture grow from below...

Forging The Pharaoh's Name, 2004

It's not like you could simply
Forge the pharaoh's name
By the switching of the sun
Taking eons to regain
What was sewn here by the hand
Leaving tendons on the cross
Time depletes my sense of trust
Just imagine what we've lost
Turning temples into dust

Set into the desert's depths
Covet water from the taps
Pull your conscience from your sleep
Leave you just as dead as me
Drag you into ancient traps
Babel's tower on your back
As they gaze upon us
Look what forty days has brought us

We call from a speed so high
Frequencies confuse their weak
And tender minds
When will the time come when
We can call the name of parasite?

What could you
Hope to dig up from the past?
Excavate my holy home
Show them my sarcophagus
Place a curse upon your soul
Wither in the depths below
Carbon dating my remains
Takes you where you fear to go
Knowledge binds you in its chains

Pay the ferryman two hits
Travel down the river styx
Bring me to my new abode
Feather weighed against my soul

Sky black day
I'm apprehended by a bird of prey
In the protection of the dead man's land
Make the connection, I'm amazed
You'd try to ascertain the holy name
Dwell with the realm of hell to reign
Forge the pharaoh's name...

Dunes of scientific scenes
Haste my hieroglyphic dreams
Betrayed by leopard priests
My rule is now deceased

These sands shall now contain my pyramidic name
Osiris, close your eyes, my curse on bitter time

Bedowynn's Bane, 2004 (also played and recorded by Albino Incident)

I saw you dividing the night, speaking in phrases no human would write
Deep in the forest with none but the species of Horus to view
Form a new image of you in the dark
Mark on my side, the Vredic race rises to battle
The twelfth planet shadow I hide
Targeting Scarlet with most of my blame
The draining of youth is the truth that remains

Heart in the core of the sun cos it's cold in this Bedowynn's bane
The enemy's down in the lungs

I shouldn't have opened the door
I was thinking of where I had failed here before
Questioning logic and reason, I'd change like the seasons
I'm winter and hold no hope of spring eternal and
Warped like a loom, I've been labelled as dark and the sky
And as cold as this derelict moon
Clutching the gas mask too close to my face
Hoping time won't be as cruel as space

And the dreams that I'd followed were never as real as the chase
Led by the hunted, I kept to the edges my fear and discomfort maintain
Heart in the core of the sun cos it's cold in this Bedowynn's bane
Down in the lungs, they keep fighting the battle for who I've become

These are words that I've swallowed in spite of my health
Faith that I've followed in spite of myself, how could it drag me away?
From the foot of the tower I'd toppled in spite of my dreams
Power I'd lost in the plight of machines awaiting the ending of days

Planets collide, the tectonic plates slide
Between thunder, Earth isn't dead yet but they've stunned her
The comets get careless, the dinosaurs perish
Like alien spaceships that fly while they're wasted and
Now they translate Cydonian landscape
As proof of intelligence, how are they selling this
New world order, defining the borders
Of heaven and hell at the risk of mortality's reign?

I'll decide that the bong remains the blame, show you the door
And you'll crawl your way through and I'll feel something more than this
Misery lining my blood, turn this soliloquy into a flood
So religiously shadowed that down in the lungs
They keep fighting the battle for who I've become in this bane
In this Bedowynn's bane...

The Great Ungnome, 2003

Well I've taken to Moksha aligning my lungs
To the sounds of machines redefining the land
Sadness and agony walked through my shadow
And journeyed past spirits asleep in the ground

So I cross a black ocean to see
The sun is a stranger to me
Walk to the Well of the Soul
What I'm told is that

Libra is showing me what she beholds
And I'm caught in the balance of water and weed
Struck down by gods and their lightening bolts
And they'll bury my body on Jebel Hafit

Grey clouds are calling my name
Certainty's fading away
What has become of this gnome?
What I know is that

He's been lurking on Oracle's bridge
And blinded ambition deciphers the need
To make drug deals
With dragons that cut off their wings
In the words that we're fearful to read

Here in the absence of what you remember
I cast your philosophies down in the embers
Of modern morality, listen while waves
Bring an ancient reality down on you slaves

As you're balled up and chained
To the wheels in your head
And you're drowning yourself in a barrel of wine
Steal back your name from the book of the dead
Nature awakens and follows the lines of

A Cro-Magnon moon against Sapien sky
Whittle the pipe from the eldest of trees
For he's gone thru a hole in the fabric of time
And he's laid down a path for us right at our feet

Jackyl Lantern, 2002

For seven days I've been crawling in a bonfire
All my veins left hanging on a barbed wire
This time I'll move forward
Banish my disorder
I remember how the mandrake's voices
Scream destructive choices
Twist of fate I met you
Nightmares manifest you

As far as I've walked I'm
Lost, trapped down here
In these black holes
If we vanish here then
We'll slip away into
These broken black souls
And we will have been
Something to believe in

From these ashes I'll carve a cross to bear and
Wait in silence while the earth goes black in here
Angel strike me down and take me to the grave
Beg the flames'll burn all your sins away

If it's conceivable then I can twist it till it's
Irretrievable, as lost as my existence
And bound to the bonfire
I'll live like a barbed wire
Your ghosts have haunted
Everything I wanted

Let this sadness rain down on scattered ashes
Empires crumble and no one sews their gashes
I'm bound to the bonfire, I'll live like a barbed wire
This love will lay down one final breakdown

Razorberry, 2002

I throw the ball across the room
I build myself another tomb
I speak in tongues and flirt with sin
I'll get you back for breaking down again
I buckle under certain doubt
I take pills to block it out
Designed to be a dark device
Another drone to sacrifice

Once I'd the patience of dormant volcanoes
Anger of dragonfly dreams
The courage of Lucifer's angels,
The beast and the powers that be
Now I've the will of a broken machine gun
And the feeling I've had from the start
Is I've the joy of a lonely man dying
And everything living is falling apart

But I've figured out the basics
The conclusions that i've drawn
Are a. I'm spouting devil's name
And b. I'll linger on
When you're locked within the forest
And you feel another hate
You'll know that life is just the prequel
To the hell that I'll create

Read the writing on the wall
I think we're all brought up to fall
I kiss the mouth of dissonance
I'll get you back for breaking down again
Wizard hats and woods of gloom
Define the moments of our doom
I throw the ball across the room
The pieces of our love

And in the language of a demon seed
Under Devil's sun
In Scarlet's web I push aside the present
This is what's to come:
She'll be calling down a fire
Only androids live to tell
There's no Son of Man nor head of Bran
That hopes to save us now

Once I walked with the spirit of sadness
Once I taunted the meaning of life
Every one of us lives to avoid it
But every one of us surely will die
Lonely deaths on the brink of existence
Are the drinks that we trade with the saints
I'm still claiming life as the prequel
To the hell that i'll create

What all starts here
All ends here

Toybox, 2001

Faith ignores that no one here adores me
Child, my friends pass by to get a taste of life
I laced on dirty streets, my broken saviour's feet
Provided voices calling and a sky now falls
Here in my head, I sow the misery
It numbs the world for me
Your hopes and dreams come from
Needle beads and my aching knees
Here we worship trees, there weren't thoughts like these

When I shattered, when my head still grew
On diseases you could drag me through
Just to burn out in my fields
Your drug's still in my soul
My demons overflow
I'm dragged down and dead for you

Dry commandments push a dark enchantment
To the vein I saved for all my childish rage
Torn down by new beginnings, does this earth still spin?
I watch my friends conform, it kills the child I stored
Here in my head, I live the prophecy
It numbs the world for me
Your hate and fear come from
Needle beads, there's no thoughts like these
These are boring dreams, you weren't there for me

A lack of blood and imperfection
A lack of any real direction
Take the skin and drive the blade in
Maybe then we'll consecrate it
Maybe I'll regret I chose this
From a bed of poison roses
I'm trying to build a life with no fear
Nothing ever ever grows here
Nothing more than dirt and shadows
Discarded wars and empty battles
All I wanted, all I needed
Broken, bottled, torn to pieces
Call the worm and crawl inside it
I'll show you how you've been misguided
All in all a censored bible
Let me ride this fucking spiral
Down